I have a strange relationship with food. I love food but I don’t like to eat. Not avoiding eating in the anorexic sense, just the fact that many foods don’t go down well into my stomach. I know that it is a mental thing but in 30 years I haven’t been able to beat it.
I love food. I like the way it smells, the way it looks on a plate, how it looks in high-definition, the science behind making it all work together and the people who work with and around food. And with all of that, I don’t like food.
I want to like food. I really do. If I loved food, I would no longer be the “lowest common denominator” in any food related discussion in my circle. People would no longer have to base their food decisions on whether or not I would be negatively affected. Stories told about who the pickiest eater of all is would cease before my name became the capstone. I wish I could enjoy food.
There are things “I know” I can’t eat even though I have never even tried them. I have no idea what eggplant tastes like but I’ve seen it and have convinced myself that it won’t make it past my tongue.
Considering how much trouble I have with food, it might surprise some of you to know that I am a decent cook. I have no formal training though if I liked food I potentially might look into learning more about the art. I love to make things that people really enjoy, I just wish I could enjoy them too.
I love food but have come to the current conclusion that I just love the concept of food. Food brings people together. It brings happiness. It brings the ability to travel without leaving your comforts. It opens up doors to meet new people by attending restaurants with scores of folks you’ve never met. But alas, food itself, just sustains me.
In my attempts to explain my food issues, I don’t want this to be a sad note. I do love food as an idea. And I do apologize to those who deal daily with my food issues. As well to my son who stands no chance of food enjoyment if he models his father.
I want to enjoy food but I haven’t found the way to do it just yet. I am taking steps to like food more. Just this week I bought some seeds and planting materials to grow my own vegetable/herb garden. We’ll see how it goes. I will do my best to try at least one of each and everything in my garden that actually make it to full growth. I will admit though, I didn’t buy any onions. Baby steps.
Some time this spring/summer I hope to see some tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, squash, carrots and a few others springing from the earth. I haven’t grown anything since elementary school when we did the potato in the cup. It should be interesting and I think that if I can plant them and watch them grow I may be able to overcome my hurdles and enjoy the fruits of my labor. No pun intended.
I’m taking steps to get better. And if I don’t, I’ll live vicariously through A Foodie at Fifteen and his brilliant take on food.