Christian Ross

Handling criticism

Been silent for too long. Trying to catch up with work after spending time enjoying the kid for a while. I enjoy writing and have several things going on in my brain to get out but just haven’t taken the time to do so recently.

I, like most, have a hard time dealing with criticism. Some might say I have a harder time than most. Nobody likes to be wrong and nobody likes their flaws pointed out. Knowing this, I must make a better effort in my criticism of others. All too often in life, I’ve found the easiest way to build myself up in my own eyes is to point out other’s flaws. Not an easy admission nor issue to overcome. I’m working on it.

If done right, I suppose Constructive Criticism can work. But it’s rarely done right. My 7th grade English teacher was great at talking up constructive criticism but I never felt any better when she handed my papers back with red marks all over them and grades that wouldn’t find me excited to show them off at home. I’m not good at giving constructive criticism and apparently not good at receiving it either.

Either way, I came across an article this evening on receiving criticism and one of the quotes stuck out:

A man interrupted one of the Buddha’s lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him, ‘If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?’

‘To the one who offered it,’ said the man.

‘Then,’ said the Buddha, ‘I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.’

Not into Buddhism but I thought it was an interesting way to look at criticism. Sometimes criticism is needed, sometimes (usually when directed from me) it isn’t. When it isn’t, maybe there’s something to not accepting what has been said.

To all I’ve affected negatively with my criticism, I apologize. I’m working on it.